A contribution from the governor of the Hobart branch of the Association.
The nationalist advocate, commonly slandered in the media as ‘right-wing’ or ‘far-right’ (a distinction for an entirely different article), generally enjoys physical activity considerably more than their liberal counterparts. Again, generally, this means spending time in the gym lifting heavy things a few times just to put them back where they came from. This is then repeated x number of times for different movements/muscle groups. In some ways this forms part of an identity. But what are we actually training for?
During a recent gym session, I found my internal monologue asking a strange question. It was push day and I had struggled through a set on a plate loaded chest press I had added for my current program. After my first working set, I became a bit stroppy and agitated. I had not hit my target reps and the set felt like a waste of my time.
‘But what are you even training for?’ the familiar voice asked.
I have been in and around the gym for 19 years1. As a personal trainer, strength and conditioning coach, and for my own training. Yet I had no answer to what should be a simple question. I was doing what can only be interpreted as a bodybuilding type split. A split made up of mostly bodybuilding type movements. Yet, at no point have I had any interest in bodybuilding as a sport. In fact, I find it to be quite humorous. Why then am I training like that?
The modern gym goer is rarely doing sport specific training. Their training goals are non-existent, are based on what they see others doing in the gym or chasing something they have been subjected to on their algorithm. In most cases this is purely aesthetics and has suffered dearly to physique inflation. What was considered a fit, muscular, and desirable physique not 5 years ago, is now is somehow laughably small. But what do you actually train for? To take downlight and pump enhanced, post-workout selfies from the gym toilets? To look ‘look good, feel good’? To be attractive to women? To just lift heavy things for the sake of it? The question then remains, as to why such a physique would be desirable and what tangible benefit it provides. You can @ me with ‘functional’ lifts all you like, but at the end of the day you likely cannot define what that function is. Truth is, we are not facing inevitable collapse into a Mad Max hellscape while carrying a perfectly weighted barbell on our back. We are being subjected to a slow societal decay where the sharpness of your mind and keenness of your rhetoric is of greater value than your squat PR from 5 years ago.
If you are planning to enter a bodybuilding or powerlifting comp, great, go for it. Love your work. Most of you are not. Maybe it is high time for a review of your programs and a moment of introspection to set yourself some goals and figure out what you are intending to achieve with the 6+ hours of your week spent in the gym. A nonsense strawman response here is inevitable, so I will clarify that regular resistance exercise is a non-negotiable for any self-respecting man. It is your reasoning that is up for debate.
Personally, all I want is to be a fit, athletic, and mobile father. I also enjoy the confidence of having some physical ability to defend my family should the need arise. That means the grinding out 6 reps on a plate loaded chest press is, as suspected, a waste of my valuable time. I no longer want bench press PRs. I do not want aching joints, shoulder impingements, and leg DOMS that make playing with my children or gardening an arduous task. I want to be able to move my own mass through space with ease.
Of course, progressive overload principles can still be adhered to for strength and muscle gain, but this will be purely a by-product of the journey toward athleticism and mobility. A by-product of a program built around performance and longevity. The upside here is less time in the gym doing six different movements to target *insert muscle group here* and the increased functionality of exponentially more control of my body, paired with a bulletproof core and stabilisers to protect me from injury.
It would be remiss of me to finish there without providing options. You may well find, after careful review, that you do not care because you enjoy your training and your arbitrary ‘results’. However, should you find yourself considering change, I offer the following suggestions:
- Martial arts of your preferred persuasion. Whether this be joining your local MMA/BJJ/Boxing gym or training and sparring with mates in your backyard or at the park. Couple this with any resistance training you like. This will give you functionality, mobility, and confidence. You will also find your aesthetic points increase purely as a bonus.
- Calisthenics by way of bodyweight movements with weight added or band assistance as needed. I promise that maybe only the strongest of you reading this is capable of doing 15 STRICT form pull ups, ring dips, or pistol squats. Your lat pulldown, chest press, and back squat days have not helped as much as you think. Being in control of your own mass is incredible for confidence and is arguably the truest form of functional training2. All these exercises are scalable (up or down) based on strength and ability so progress can easily be tracked. You will gain stability, control, and new skills. All the while achieving well-earned strength and muscle gains.
- Sprint training is underrated and overlooked. The fact is that distance running is not doing your body/joints many favours. People often talk about their 3.2km, or 5km or 10km run times but when was the last time you ran a 40m or 100m full sprint? The anatomical adaptation promoted by sprinting is near unrivalled. A good session is made up of a five-minute active/dynamic warm-up and three to five max effort sprints with a five-minute break in between.
- Rucking/Stomping for endurance is about as genuinely Mad Max functional as you will get. Get a backpack, fill it with essentials, and go for a moderate to fast hike in nature. Control your speed so you don’t gas out but maintain the intensity and speed to escape your imaginary wasteland warlord pursuers.
In short, take a moment to assess your current training regimen and ask yourself, ‘what are you training for?’. Review your goals and what you are hoping to achieve (and why) with what is a significant time and energy expenditure. I recommend any combination of the above scaled to the amount of time you have to commit. Make a commitment to yourself for six months and enjoy improved functionality, mobility, and strength. All with the by-product of achieving or maintaining a 95th percentile physique.
Footnotes:
1: This is my source for the entire opinion piece.
2: What could be more functional than having greater control over the one unevenly weighted 80kg+ thing (your body) you carry around all day?