- Introduction
As a part of a recent Victorian Presentation Day, where men of the branch gave in-depth presentations of topics ranging from health to policy proposals, I gave a speech to the branch (men married and unmarried) regarding the topic of courtship in the current year. It’s a huge subject, and really hard to keep on topic and at a manageable length. I am not claiming to be an expert, but then, as the goal of courtship is marriage, experts in this field are usually the ones that have been happily married for a long time.
Due to embarrassment from people without partners (as well as fear of overstepping from those that do) it doesn’t really get covered much… this is an essential topic! Comparatively ‘safe’ topics on the right such as immigration, fitness trends and current events are frequent topics of conversation, but this form of self improvement is often considered controversial.
Luckily, I am happy to make a fool of myself talking about this sort of thing, so long as it’s likely to help the right people: please bear with me! For those lucky (and hardworking) enough to already have good women, perhaps these ideas will help you in assisting your single mates.
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First, it is worth mentioning that not every man will work well with a wife, or end up finding a suitable one. This is OK, but to assume that this is you—without trying really trying in the first place!—is just coping. Finding a good wife is a really hard thing to do in our modern day—we all know that. However, this just makes it a challenge worthy of a man, not something that isn’t worth trying. Suitable women for marriage used to be relatively easy to find: it is no longer the case these days, but then in 2026 we don’t have banditry, famine or war, so in that context, this is a much easier kind of struggle that needs to be overcome.
As we all know, a replacement birth-rate is 2.1 per couple. This is mere replacement: we should be aiming for growth! And that’s the national statistic: to account for my cousins’ childlessness, I would personally need to have over 15 additional children just to break even on my family. This is, of course, not possible. I assume that most of us in ANA are in a similar boat with our families: we can’t also cover for the childless men of ANA, or the broader movement. The Australian people must not just persevere, but thrive!
Now, a brief mention of Edward Dutton’s broad population hypothesis. The left-inclined portion of the population are dying out from lack of children. Over a hundred years or more, the ones who remain will typically be very conservative types, particularly the religious. The Amish, Orthodox Jews, radical Muslims, and Quiverful Protestants are a few examples. If Nativists/Nationalists want to inherit the nation, we have to get cracking. ANA’s model of the long march to victory is won by children, and healthy children are only raised in healthy families.
(please check out this article for more information on that topic: https://ausnatives.org/rethinking-the-collapse-in-fertility/)
– The Modern Woman question
Yes, I know that the Modern Woman isn’t amazing, on average. I’ve seen the political polling graphs, the rage-bait videos, and the doomer articles. But there’s a few things to be said here. One, you are not an average man! Improve yourself and your position, and you can gain a higher quality woman on average. Two, you are not after the ‘average woman’. You are after a specific kind of woman. Girlbosses, landwhales and libtards may as well be invisible to you: they are irrelevant. Three, you don’t care about ‘the woman problem’ here; you care about the ‘I don’t have a woman’ problem. This is substantially easier to solve, in the same way that it’s easier to buy a house than to fix the Australian housing market.
Divorce and the splitting of assets is a potential problem, yes. It can be crippling and one should be aware of this. However, it’s like getting into a car accident, or losing all your money in the stock market. You can do a great deal to mitigate risks, and while you can’t remove them completely, it’s not like you would stop investing your money at all, or never drive your car. You accept these things as necessary, and move on, managing the risks.
While of course there are always outliers, many of the older men you have heard complain about modern marriage did not choose the right woman. They took their marriages for granted without putting time or effort in. They were not a part of a community that valued fidelity and marriage, and so on. If you are a part of a conservative minded group like the ANA, and/or a proper religious community like a church, active in it’s life and social circle, women in particular are very socially conformist and will be much less likely to want a no-fault divorce, as they will be ostracised from those communities.
Divorce is certainly worth considering as an outcome that might happen, but the thought of it should not cripple you. Instead, you just need to put more effort in, both initially as well as in maintenance of that relationship. Bringing it back to the car analogy, getting upset with your car for breaking down because you haven’t changed the oil for two years is your fault, and not the car’s. Speaking more positively now, if are able to keep your relationship in good condition, maintaining your relationship is no drag or difficulty: rather, it is a pleasure that keeps on giving!
– What to look for
So what are you looking for? You can’t expect a wonderful woman to fall into your lap. This does happen from time to time, but you usually have to look for them, and then do some moulding. You likely aren’t her perfect man yet, either!
There is no objectively perfect woman; you’re all looking for different things. Different body shapes, family backgrounds, religion, interests, etc. Therefore, this advice is all very general, but you have to identify what you want, and then go from there.
To start, find a woman with good ‘bones’ — a respect for her father and broader family, and a conservative/religious upbringing (even if she’s not currently living up to that). She should be of the right kind of intelligent (you’ll talk a lot though your lives, and you probably don’t want an idiot to talk to!), and to be attractive to you (she needn’t be a stunner, but you should be happy enough). You may want to add things to this list: that’s up to you!
When I met my wife she had a lot of red flags, as we identify them in Nativist circles. However, she had excellent ‘bones’! There was nothing that I considered non-resolvable, so these issues were resolved in time. After 5 years of marriage, she is an amazing wife and mother, strong and supportive. You need to be able to identify the immovable red flags, and what is just chaff ready to be swept away.
– Where to find ladies
All of this theory is fine, but Thomas, how do I actually find these unicorns? Well, they won’t be on pornhub, playing Hearts of Iron 4, or six pints deep watching footy at the pub. So you do have to get out and about, possibly outside of your comfort zone. Clearly, if you’ve been looking for a few years with no effect, then something in your strategy is wrong.
You need to put yourself out there. You have to put yourself in the mindset of: where would your ideal partner likely be? Good women are generally not a fan of the modern world either, even if they are unable or unwilling to vocalise the thoughts and principles that we men do. Accordingly, they are probably not hanging out at the shops surrounded by seedy foreigners. Some examples include:
– Festivals: think special interest, like folk music, historical, cultural, etc. For example, in order to find a wife and be involved with my ethnic background, I got involved in the Scottish Community and met many young women. Even if those women in particular aren’t suitable for you, there are many doors that open once you know young ladies who know others.
– Church: If you’re religious, these are some of the best wives that you can find. Try different ones in your denomination if there aren’t any at yours. Be involved in the life of the church as well, as aside from any religious reasoning, they will prefer it if you are.
– Hobbies: Think of wholesome hobby groups that you might be interested in that attract women, such as crafts (cooking, jewellery making etc), hiking, off-grid living activities, dancing, among others. Do something that you actually enjoy so that you can stick around and grow into it. It’s likely to make you a more interesting and developed person as well, even if you don’t do it forever. I enjoyed learning a bit on how to do Scottish Ceilidh dancing, even if I am unlikely to return to it again for some time.
DO NOT: wait for friends, family or Association brothers to come up to you and say ‘there’s this wonderful girl you should meet!’. This is a fantasy, and very likely will not happen. You are the man, you must hunt, you must be pro-active. Passivity is a feminine trait. If you are incapable of being pro-active here, this is a character flaw you must work on, like any other flaw you may have (and we all have them!)
It is worth saying that one of the long-term goals of many within the Australian Natives’ Association is to be a fully connected cultural force, where children raised in a similar community are raised together and will be able to find partners of similar quality, values, and background. However, this is a long way off for anything reliable. It’s better to be a part of this solution in 25 years by getting cracking now!
– How to approach them
In your initial approach if you are unsure, don’t feel the need to come out swinging with a corny pickup line. A simple “hey, my name is X, how are you?” suffices to begin with in most circumstances. If meeting regularly, don’t feel the need to ask to see her elsewhere for the first few meetings. However, don’t leave it too long! If you wait for 6 months, you’re likely going to be delegated to ‘friend’ or even ‘some guy’ status, which is difficult to recover from.
However, this is not a Pick-Up Artist section, so going forward we’ll just stick to general ideas. As mentioned earlier you must assume that you are the one starting the movement here. As you’re all quite different from each other, the best general advice is to be the best version of yourself. For example:
– If you are really smart and knowledgeable but kind of autistic, that’s fine: your future wife will love that about you. But don’t start with a 15-minute lecture on church history or what’s happening in Iran. Women will largely not care. You’re smart, sure… but be cool, be interesting, and listen to her, asking questions. You like being asked questions, and so will she.
– If you are not that smart… *but* you *are* outgoing and charismatic, demonstrate that. Avoid putting your foot in it or coming across as arrogant or sleazy. If she doesn’t find you funny, abort: a joker like you will be as miserable as her in the long run!
– If you are just kind of quiet and struggle to show your worth, this is rough. However, the same general logic of ‘your future wife will love that about you’ rings true. Put yourself into situations where you are more likely to work up the courage, and have an excuse to talk to the woman that draws your interest. Ask for help from your friends, if you need. Every man in ANA would be happy to help a brother, so don’t be afraid to ask.
These points are all meant to demonstrate that your approach will change depending on who you are and who you’re talking to. The charismatic man can just walk up to a woman and start chatting comfortably, and the quiet guy will struggle to do that, but… that’s not a problem, because the women that love the charismatic chads will go for the chads, and the ones that like quiet men will be interested in you! You can’t fake being a supremely confident and blustering man your whole life, so don’t try to be what you aren’t. You’re just competing after different sorts, so have no fear.
– The road to marriage
Courtship without marriage is a waste of time. Sleeping around with no intention of going further is even worse than that! Marriage and children must be the goal for the vast majority of us. As mentioned earlier, it is incorrect to assume that you are a part of this small minority without really trying, unless you’re keen on being a monk.
Therefore, once you have determined your desire to stick to this path, you have to make sure that she is, as well. If she insists that she has no interest in having kids, your relationship will not bear fruit, and it is not worth wasting any more time on her. It is possible she may change her mind at 34, when you have time for 1 or 2 kids, but she also might not… or, perhaps she’ll decide that she would prefer them with another man instead.
Similarly, wasting the time of a good woman is a great shame, so make sure you seal the deal! Don’t just wait around for years, especially unmarried. Neither of you are getting any younger. Have a goal set, and if timelines are not met, review. Our ancestors had kids in their early 20s, and if the only thing you have to show for 4 years of a relationship is a rented apartment and a cat, you either need to get a grip, or she’s not the one.
IN SHORT:
1) You should try for a partner and children.
2) This is a STRUGGLE that is HARD, but it is one that you must undertake!
3) Modern women aren’t great on average, but that actually doesn’t affect you personally as much as the doomers and misogynists make out.
4) There is no perfect woman. Be realistic, and find a woman with good bones.
5) Get out and about to find women. You are the man here, and it’s your responsibility.
6) Be the best version of yourself, and don’t worry about not being someone else: that isn’t important.
7) If neither of you are planning on children or marriage, you’re wasting time.
Thomas M.
Governor – ANA Victoria
2026